xinli language, not meant to be understood by non-xinli beings.
Wednesday, Dec. 12, 2007
11:45 p.m.

I was at Cailin's blog. I guess it just seem so cloudy facing my FYP. Even when I'm blogging, my Simulation is running.

I guess it really sucks when a non-fyp student is able to produce results while I can't. This is horrible. I didn't complain about FYP right? Never in details right? No details - because there was nothing concrete to complain even! I didn't mean to be so dumb and stupid with Matlab. How would I know that the whole world in EE Control loves this program? If I had knew it since birth, I would have made sure that I learn it so so SO well!!! ARGhh... ok. That's not the point.

I just, and I really mean JUST, realised that I didn't smile much today. I have to force a smile (just). I think I need to smile more to keep myself positive. Like.. " Xinli it's ok, *smile* the next simulation will be right. You just gotta keep changing and checking *smile". Scheiss.. why do I feel like tearing as I type?

I will try and try and try.. TRY! WTH.. xinli's going to be smart one day.. the day will come. Self-consolation.. oh well, I guess it does help.

And. I guess I'm going to just make a decision. Yes, fixed and never going to change again. It has been too long.. too long that it has been slowly decomposing. Why was I like that? It should never have. I think we're better off as in 3.5 yrs ago but not in <3.5yrs ago. No more expectations, no more disappointments. Good luck in your future and bless me with mine too.

Thanks to huy omg... that was a mood lifter for a short short while, but while the truth's never going to be uncovered and the grave digger's gone missing, I shall let the fairytale stay innocence and nice. Like all other fairytales..

And then there's me. =)) go go go~~

THis is the nice story from Cailin's blog:

When things in your lives seem almost too much to handle, when 24 hours in a day are not enough, remember the story of the mayonnaise jar and the 2 cups of coffee.

A professor stood before his philosophy class and had some items in front of him. When the class began, he wordlessly picked up a very large and empty mayonnaise jar and proceeded to fill it with golf balls.

He then asked the students if the jar was full. They agreed that it was. The professor then picked up a box of pebbles and poured them into the jar. He shook the jar lightly. The pebbles rolled into the open areas between the golf balls.

He then asked the students again if the jar was full. They agreed it was. The professor next picked up a box of sand and poured it into the jar. Of course, the sand filled up everything else. He asked once more if the jar was full. The students responded with an unanimous "yes."

The professor then produced two cups of coffee from under the table and poured the entire contents into the jar effectively filling the empty space between the sand. The students laughed. "Now," said the professor as the laughter subsided, "I want you to recognize that this jar represents your life.

The golf balls are the important things--your family, your children, your health, your friends and your favorite passions---and if everything else was lost and only they remained, your life would still be full. The pebbles are the other things that matter like your job, your house and your car.

The sand is everything else---the small stuff. "If you put the sand into the jar first," he continued, "there is no room for the pebbles or the golf balls. The same goes for life. If you spend all your time and energy on the small stuff you will never have room for the things that
are important to you. "Pay attention to the things that are critical to your happiness. Play with your children. Take time to get medical checkups. Take your spouse out to dinner. Play another 18. There will always be time to clean the house and fix the disposal. Take
care of the golf balls first --- the things that really matter. Set your priorities. The rest is just sand."

One of the students raised her hand and inquired what the coffee represented. The professor smiled. "I'm glad you asked. It just goes to show you that no matter how full your life may seem, there's always room for a couple of cups of coffee with a friend."
.+.+.+.+.+.

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